Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
