May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
