the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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