well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
