Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize