oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize