What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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