I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
