I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
My Sexting was not on an AP level
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
