my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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