Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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