are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
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