Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize