I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
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