now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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