i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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