We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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