The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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