Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I need water and some morals
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
