God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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