So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
