He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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