you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Randomize
