I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
