Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
