It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
