She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
