i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
i out mim tonsoeep
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