Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
