so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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