He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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