Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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