TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
