So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
