Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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