I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
