she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
