I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Randomize
