is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
It's just like the Real World with babies
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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