I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
