I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
