Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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