He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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