you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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