I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
