this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
