Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
