hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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