Can Purell be used as lube?
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
