Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
