It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
