Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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