Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
True college students do jello shots in the library
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
