i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize