we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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