I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
