In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
