I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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