is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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