Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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