i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
