Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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