If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize