exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Randomize
