He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
