fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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