She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
