i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
