scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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