I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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