Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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