No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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