Plan B is the new Plan A
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Randomize
