I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
