all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
