Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
