I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Randomize
