I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
