Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
