all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
