One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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