apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
